The Sock Rule: A Decision Fatigue Hack for ADHD Brains
- Rebecca K. Sampson
- 2 hours ago
- 6 min read
At the end of the day, does it feel like the smallest thing could set you off? Does being asked a simple question feel like an impossible task, even if the answer is on the tip of your tongue, yet you can't get your brain to spit it out? Do you feel that all the time, during certain times of day, or only in decisions that involve other people?
If you are a busy overachieving mom with ADHD like me, it might be a combination of factors, both decision fatigue and executive dysfunction.
I'll address both here, and how this series of ten different decision fatigue hacks can help.
What is Decision Fatigue?
Decision fatigue is when it's harder to think through decisions because you've already made too many of them, so you go with the easiest option, regardless of whether you wanted to choose it or not. Sometimes it means ignoring decisions you need to make.
The thought is you have an allowance of decisions in your mind and once you use them up, the energy needed to decide dwindles.
It's a studied behavior, where it's easier to do complex thoughts and decision processes in the morning vs later in the day where you are more depleted. Did you know that parole judges make more favorable rulings in the morning?
That's just one real-life example of how the way you make decisions impacts day to day life.
What is Executive Dysfunction?
While different, it relates to decision fatigue. Executive dysfunction is common in ADHD, other neurodivergence types like autism, and with brain injuries. It means starting the process of the decision (this activation energy) is harder, so each decision you make costs you more. Someone with these symptoms may have less of an allowance of decision making before they default to easier answers, or even freeze responses.
This is something myself and my son experience often. We'll have an answer in our head, but we'll default to what someone else said first, because the effort to get our thoughts out feels like a string that has been cut between our brain and our mouth.
Why is Making Decisions Harder with ADHD?
Making decisions is harder for those with ADHD not only because of decision fatigue and executive dysfunction, but with the addition of pattern recognition, context, and pressure to meet expectations (whether the pressure is intentional or not doesn't matter, it's there). For example, it's easier for me to make decisions on difficult topics when I'm alone away from my house, because I don't have as much stimuli adding to the process.
As an author, I almost exclusively have to write when outside the house, rather than at home, because it's harder to work through my creativity in fiction when I see laundry I need to put away. It's easier to pick laundry, then to pick writing.
For a practical example, if you are deciding on something while next to a family member, you may struggle with a choice you'd want to make vs a choice someone else would prefer, and to avoid the possibility of that, you pick their answer.
These are not exclusive to ADHD, but it all commingles.
Related post: How I came to love having ADHD.
How Do You Beat Decision Fatigue?
It's harder to beat how your brain is wired, but limiting the amount of decisions you make daily (and thus having less decision fatigue), can help with executive dysfunction, because there is less pressure within each decision, and less of your decision allowance used.
The older I've gotten, the more I've realized how each decision piles on, and giving yourself more time during the day to shoulder decisions critically involves changing a few habits, and better understanding your brain.
It's easy to say "do the most important things in the morning" but what happens when there are too many important decisions and other factors, like jobs and kids, and that takes up the beginning of your day?
We're going to break down different ways to beat decision fatigue in this ten-part series, starting with...
The Sock Rule
Every decision you make, even dumb and non-important ones, pull from the same mental battery. As such, it's important to decide what is worth using your mental battery for.
It's like using decision fatigue in reverse, by pre-determining items not worth your decision energy, and collaborating with your life to make those simple decisions easier and automatic.
Habits are core decisions that repeat and are automatic, without thought. Habits, once successfully done, do not require thought, so they don't pull from your decision allowance.
But habits don't sound sexy, especially for people with ADHD that love novelty.
It stands to reason that what you make into a habit, matters. Not everything should be a habit.
Do an audit of your life, asking the following questions:
What parts of your day frustrate you?
What of that list of frustrations, is a common area of life most people deal with?
From that list, if someone else took it over, would you be annoyed with how they did it?
Do you have to be annoyed? Does it actually matter if they do it differently than you?
What from this list is repeatable and could be a routine?
What is physical, vs what is mental?
What involves other people in the process vs activities that can be done solo?
In my own list, things that frustrate me are laundry, picking outfits, dishes, reading emails, replying to messages, being interrupted, and several other things. Some of them are more conceptual (like being interrupted), while others are concrete and repeatable, like laundry.
The goal of the audit is to get you thinking. Unfortunately, not all of these things can be solved by decision fatigue hacks, but it will point out what every day thing doesn't need to be as messy as it is to your brain.
Like, Socks... What is the Sock Rule?
The sock rule is a term I coined to say "clothing needs rules" and contrast that some things are so silly when put into a rule structure. Yet, it works.
I'm not talking about a capsule wardrobe, although this could lead you down that path if it feels fun for you.
I'm talking about structure and minimizing decisions in an empowering way.
If you don't care about socks, why are you letting matching socks on laundry day frustrate you?
Looking through that pile of socks with all these different colors and textures is like doing dozens of little decisions.
Don't waste your decisions on socks.
Save your decision allowance by keeping only certain brands of socks, and each kind is in one color or one texture, so how you match them is automatic.
My sock rule strategy:
One brand of white ankle socks.
One brand of long black socks.
whatever fuzzy socks I want, because I don't match them.
If all white socks are one size, you can put any two together. If all black socks are the same length, they all go together too. Fuzzy socks? Let them be colorful chaos. You only wear them at home anyway.
Take a picture of the sock package, so you can easily rebuy them once the wear and tear gets too bad.
Leaving your laundry in a pile for days is not a discipline problem. Your laundry is not done because you are anticipating all the small decisions that need to happen to complete it.
How Can You Minimize Laundry Decisions?
Follow the sock rule!
Organize clothing by how you wear it. For example, all baggy shirts to the left, leggings and shorts in a basket below it.
Only buy items that fit clothing rules you've already established. How would you style a shirt with cut out shoulders? If you don't know, don't buy it.
Don't buy clothing because you appreciate it or think it's cool or want to change your style suddenly. Buy clothing you will wear.
The last one took awhile for me to understand. Just because I know something is cool, doesn't mean I'd wear it. You can appreciate something without owning it.
And let's be real for a second. We have decades of clothing experience just by being alive. You know what suits your lifestyle and your identity. In the few times I've worn tight dresses, I was uncomfortable, so why pretend it'll be different this time just to get the pretty one on sale?
Find what rules suit you, and organize your laundry and closet to meet that.
This is part one of our ten-part decision fatigue hack ADHD series. Join my newsletter below to get updated on the next post in the series.
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